Something Old, Something New
by Zeil
Summary: Slash. JD decides to check in on Dr. Cox when he doesn't show up for a shift.
1. My Bad

**A/N: Hi all! My first Scrubs story... yay. This set early in season two... I just got around to rewatching them... and I love the early episodes. This is set right after My Karma... Because although I do like Jordan I always wondered what would have happened if she hadn't been particularly motherly. Also Scrubs slash is disgustingly rare so... though ya'll may have to wait a few chapter's on that one. Cheers. Also any thoughts are in bold... mostly there JD's cos I love that about the show... but I didn't write it first person because I also wanted to include a few other's perspectives and also just a neutral angle as well. Hope everything's clear.**

**Disclaimer: Yeah... surprisingly I have no rights to anything that looks familiar.**

**Something Old, Something New**

**Prologue**

_**My Bad**_

_Difficulties are opportunities to better things; they are stepping stones to greater experience. Perhaps someday you will be thankful for some temporary failure in a particular direction. When one door closes, another always opens._

* * *

JD walked up to Dr. Cox's apartment door once again, raised his hand to knock… then dropped it. Walked off back down the hall and then turn and came back and just stood staring.

**Okay now this may be big laughs for anyone watching, though I don't think any of the neighbors are. But I just finished a 28 hour shift. Why 28 hours, well that's an easy one. I was unlucky enough to decide to get coffee yesterday. Then I tripped over with said coffee… onto Dr. Kelso's brand new Italian loafers.**

**This brings us to why I'm not knocking on Doctor Cox's door… wait actually why I'm at Cox's door comes first. No big secret, I'm an idiot, with a death wish. I'm optimistic though, last time I was here he only hurt me little, maybe I can escape with minor injuries this time too. Maybe not.**

**What event actually put here? Again painfully simple… Doctor Cox didn't show up for work today. Now this may not seem like a big deal, but lately he's been trying to make it work with his ex-wife-current-girlfriend-evil-bitch-monster-thing or we just call her Jordan for short, also to her face as well for obvious reasons.**

**So that said I'm here just to make sure they haven't wiped each other of the face of the earth. Unfortunately after arriving, I realized that I would actually have to knock and one of them, god please Dr. Cox, will answer and they're both pretty mean.**

JD finally made himself rap, trying to keep his hand steady when he did. Otherwise Dr. Cox would make fun of his 'girly little hands'. Not that he actually had them, but he would say he did.

No one answered. Then again he could hear the TV through the door so maybe he just wasn't being loud enough. JD knocked again and then slammed after another awkward pause. He could hear Jordan's baby crying on the other side already so, no chance of waking it. There was still the very real chance though of her killing him, just for laughs.

JD had to fight the urge to cross himself when Dr. Cox answered the door.

"Oh hey Valerie…" He smirked then raised a tumbler to his lips and drained the contents.

"What's your neck doing in my woods?" His breath was a hundred proof and JD took a step back for fear of melting.

"Argh… Dr. Cox… are you okay?" The other was almost always drinking… outside of work at least. But JD had never actually seen him drunk before, not this kind of drunk. When Dr. Cox got tipsy he only ever got more like himself.

"I'm fine Lauren, all is right with the world. I am just peachy keen… 'cepts my drink is empty." JD flinched when the other slurred on the except, because Dr. Cox didn't slur. He turned and disappeared around the door, JD poking his head in cautiously.

**No Jordan… well as least not anywhere visible. Like Dr. Kelso you can never tell when she's simply going to pop up, like some demented Jack in the box and of course the fact that I've slept with this woman… only adds to the creep factor.**

Little baby no name is cry in his pram, wailing in a terribly dejected way.

"Hey Doctor Cox… where's Jordan?" JD asked, with an edge of concern.

"Jordan's gone…" He laughed, flopping down messily into the couch with his now full glass, sloshing god only knew what everywhere.

**It was at this crucial point, in my sleep deprived brain, that Tweetie appeared on my shoulder, bulbous yellow head sitting beside mine.**

"**Oh yeah this puddy tat's widdle red choo-choo's gone off the wails…" He garbled. I brushed him off… this was no time for cartoon canaries.**

"What'd you mean 'she's gone'?" JD asked neck hair's twitching…

"Gone Shannon… not sure how many different ways I can put that here goes though… Let's see." JD picked up the tossed aside letter on the coffee table, white paper stark against the dark wood.

_Perry,_

_I've decided that this whole mothering thing isn't really working for me at the moment. I've decided to see Paris for a bit, we'll discuss it when I get back…_ JD reread the note and then flipped it over it see if he'd missed something… **Evil-Bitch-Monster**…

JD dropped the letter back onto the table.

"Well you know Dr. Cox. I'm sure its just hormones you know she'll probably be back tomorrow…" **For once I was glad that Dr. Cox seemed to be paying no attention to me what-so-ever… It was one of those times where a hole opening in the middle of the floor and swallowing me would have been welcomed. I would've screamed or anything… I turned my attention to something slightly safer…**

"Hey is there something wrong with…" **I thumbed towards Jordan's kid… really Cox's kid too but I can't tell him that...**

"The kid… he's Jordan's… what could possibly be right with the poor little bugger." He flicked to a news report on some plane crash, looking despondently at the screen.

"Well when did you feed him last?" JD said going over to peer in at the wiggling mass.

"6 maybe…"

"It's almost 9." JD frowned… how long could newborns go without eating… four hours…? It was something close to that.

"Well gee Stephanie you can tell time… I wouldn't've guessed." **I don't bother to explain that he's probably really hungry… 'Cos the thing on the couch that looks like Dr. Cox and occasionally sounds like him isn't.**

**I make my way into the kitchen… its sterile looking like the rest of the apartment. I open the fridge door, thinking how I don't need this after my really longe shift. But I guess that doesn't really matter since I'm not going to leave the kid like that, even if I do doubt very much that Dr. Cox will actually let him starve.**

JD found three bottles of formula lined up along the door. He pulled the first one out and went across to put it under the hot tap, Dr. Cox making no comment as he came back in and sat at the end of the lounge. The plane crash was still being played on the news. Which JD found rather morbid.

**Eventually I decided just to ignore the thing at the end of the couch that was calling itself Dr. Cox. I had Jordan's baby to focus on and the kid seemed to hate me as much as his mother did. He fussed and cried, milk spilling from the nipple into his chin. Apparently he's taken on his mother's demonic qualities too. Funny how the wailing hasn't annoyed me until now.**

"He won't feed unless you're holding him." **Dr. Cox offers and not for the first time ever I want to punch him.**

"Yeah well since he's your kid you could stop drinking and give us a hand here!" **I grouse beyond tired. I'm also a little scared too and since no one actually likes being scared I get mad to cover it.**

"Nagh… you've got that real mothering instinct Brittany… wouldn't wanna mess with that." He says and gets up for another drink.

"You know Jordan left, she didn't drop off the face of the earth… she'll probably be back by next week… so could ya maybe stop feeling sorry for yourself." JD snapped, nerves frayed.

"Oh Newbie… she's not coming back…" He says, back to JD.

"And why's that?" JD groans trying to decide how best to pick up the screaming infant.

"'Cos that was her plane."


	2. Crashing

A/N: Hey all guy thanks for the review. Your wonderful... its weird really I have written for a new fandom in so long I had almost forgotten what its like to try'en work out how to write new characters. Hopefully I've done them justice though. Again thankyou to my reviewers... Hopefully I actually get some more people into the next chapter. Cheers. 

**Chapter One**

_**Crashing**_

_Tearless grief bleeds inwardly._

_Christian Nevell_

* * *

**Shock is a weird thing, mainly because feelings are pretty much the one thing everyone shares and yet you can never really describe how anything feels to anyone else. I mean you can say you're numb and that your brain flickers off for a second… and so on. But that just never seems to really cover it. Especially when the shock comes from loosing someone… numb just doesn't seem to cover the bone deep coldness that you feel.**

**Of course as bad as I felt I knew that Dr. Cox had to feel at least 10 times worse. I mean it was his ex-wife… they had a kid, even if he didn't know it. Should I tell him that now?**

"Yep Jordan's spread out in little tiny, tiny bits across three different county's." **No, I should probably wait with the whole baby bomb shell. But I have no idea what else to say. Hallmark doesn't exactly make a card for this type of thing… at least… I hope not. It's disturbing if they do.**

JD picked up Jordan's baby and tried again with the bottle. The way the kid latched on, even with gums, JD could understand why Jordan had decided not to breastfeed. Also a good thing for him, since he didn't exactly lactate or anything.

Dr. Cox slumped back down onto the lounge, feet kicked up.

"This is depressing." Perry snorted and flicked the channel; JD's stomach turning when he realized that it was on most of the stations, relieved when Dr. Cox finished up on some kind of cheesy midday flick… only not exactly midday.

JD slid down a little further into the lounge, stunned as he watched the frantic swallowing. It was odd, for a ten minute stretch all Jordan's baby did was suck… stopping rhythmically to snuffle through he's nose. The end result of which was only about 50 ml disappearing from the bottle.

**It's truly scary how everything about babies is just so tiny. Little hands, feet, meals… life expectancies. Sorry but that's the kind of mood I'm in right now, just thinking over life in general. At the things we think we'll always have more time to do.**

**It's also amazing the difference food can make. The little guy… Jesus he needs a name, is now all sleepy and peaceful, quiet and looking nothing like the little monster that he did before. He even falls asleep while I'm changing his nappy, which is really a good thing since I have a hard enough time with it even without him moving.**

**It's at this point, after covering him up that I realize the snoring I've been hearing is from Dr. Cox currently passed out in a sprawl across the sofa. I pull myself up, feeling half dead… which considering I'm probably almost all dead is pretty good. I take the glass from his hand and set it down on the coffee table.**

**I know I should go now, Grab a few hours of sleep ad then come back to check in on them both, why this is my job I don't know, it just is. But did I mention the half dead thing; I amble about and find Dr. Cox's bedroom, this idea's making my stomach turn. But since the couch is taken and I don't think I can actually make it home. I decide to crash for a bit on Dr. Cox's bed, it's not a huge deal. He's out like a light and I never sleep for more than half an hour at a time unless I'm in my own bed anyway… So I'll head home in like an hour and he'll never be any the wiser.**

**That's the plan anyway.**

-.-.-

JD woke groggily to an arm thrown across his middle. **Who the hell did I manage to take home last night?** The only name he could come up with as a possibility was Elliot, only the arm was way too heavy, too big… Carla was slightly more muscular than Elliot… He jerked around roughly, relived when he found Dr. Cox curled around his back. No Carla, not that, now that he thought about it, was it even a possibly, seriously.

JD shifted out of the other's arms, pulling his legs sluggishly from the tangle with Dr. Cox's, a shrill crying drifting in from the lounge. He heated another bottle and fished Perry's baby back out of the stroller. It was at this point, back to being slumped on the other's couch that it occurred to JD that he just woken up cuddling with Dr. Cox. He decided to repress it for now and have a panic attack later when he wasn't still half asleep.

By the time he was done with another bottle and nappy JD found himself no longer half asleep but still wrecked. It wasn't really a surprise he guessed, he'd worked a lot of doubles prior to his last shift and he'd been moonlighting at the free clinic with Turk as well. Sleep though apparently wasn't an optional thing no matter how busy you were.

JD rearranged the chair cushions and set the baby down; turning on the TV he watched Bugs and Daffy chase each other with hammers and kept telling himself he'd leave in five minutes…

-.-.-

"Come on Newbie." JD heard a door shut and smelt… pizza. He sat up trying to swallow the nasty taste from his mouth.

"There ya go Shelly… Open your eyes like a big boy." Dr. Cox said setting a pizza down on the table in front of him.

JD blinked the sleep from he eyes and shifted stiffly. He'd fallen asleep again… **damn the baby**. JD started as he realized the lounge next to him was empty. He was right in the middle of a panic attack when Dr. Cox walked back in holding his son. This time thankfully there was a bottle in his hand rather than a glass.

"You could've told me you were taking him." JD snapped and then got distracted by the smell of the Pizza.

"Sorry Veronica… I didn't realize the umbilical cord was that short." He snorted stretching out, baby resting against his chest. JD staring in wonder, at how easy the other made the awkward position look.

"What are you staring at Janice." He snapped.

"You ummm… brought me pizza…" JD said lamely and waited for the snipe… but it was better than admitting that Dr. Cox looked cute with his son.

"Well jeez should I lay down newspaper are you honestly excited enough to pee on the floor." Dr. Cox… never one to disappoint. JD rolled his eyes and leaned forward to open the box and pull out a slice.

"What time is it?" He asked noting the darkening since the last time his eyes had been open.

"4.30." Cox said flicking through channels once more. Oddly enough he was back to news programs.

"I can't believe it's not on any of these." He mumbled.

"Well the… crash was playing all morning so; they'll probably have an update later." JD said around a mouth full of cheese, suddenly uncomfortable again, thinking about Jordan.

"No actually I wanted to see if anyone had found Satan sitting by the side of a road… She's been down there long enough you know." He mumbled.

"Do you… do you care that she…" It was a stupid ridiculous question that JD wishes he hadn't bothered with.

"Of course I care Jessica… Unfortunately if I stop cracking jokes and start that long depressing haul down the I loved her, I hated her, I miss her road right now… I may just lose it completely and go toss myself off a very high building."

JD focused hard on the pizza, something clawing at his insides… and suddenly he didn't feel quite so hungry. Actually nausea was currently creeping along his stomach too.

"Dr. Cox I never really said before that I was ya know… sorry about…"

"Don't do it." He threatened, sitting up abruptly and moving to put his son back in the pram and considering his parents the kid was pretty placid most of the time, JD noted, as small blue eyes stared blandly at him. He watched Perry drop the half emptied baby bottle down beside the many alcohol bottles.

"Bit uptight anyway aren't you Mary… G-string riding right up into uncomfortable places again." Cox sniped, this time JD got why.

"Yeah, my pink lacey one's… wanna see?" JD gambled, pleased when the other snorted into his drink. Dr. Cox, after he stopped spluttering peered at him over amber liquid.

**The newbie's teasing me. I could just be imagining it. I'm still pretty drunk. Truthfully though I don't really care. I can't be bothered glaring, or being scary and a rant just doesn't hold the appeal that it usually does. Besides he has that hopeful puppy-dog, play with me look.**

"God no Sherry, there's not enough alcohol in the world." **It can't hurt to indulge him a little. Can it? Oh god what if he starts trying to hug me next… I'll deck him if he does, might make me feel better.**

"Yeah right, you want me… you think I'm a hot creature." **Oh god now he's glowing like he's just gotten laid… yuk I helped with that.**

"Well the creature parts right." **I grumble, tossing back the rest of my drink… I think I may actually be glad he's here.**


	3. The Best Medicine

**A/N: Well thankyou all to my reviews and anyone who stopped by. Thankyou especially to Doomthatimpends... Dide stop stalking me really I'm faltered but said no... thanks for reviwing darl. Thankyou to Yumi and yes I am actually related to Jordan the doctors try to convince me otherwise but I know better. But no seriously thankyou everyone. The comments are really great. Thanks for taking the time, and here is my next part... hope I stay on track. Oh and sorry for the all bold first chapter what it looks like now is how its supposted to be, sorry if anyone was confused.**

**Chapter Two**

_**The Best Medicine**_

_There is an important difference between love and friendship. While the former delights in extremes and opposites, the latter demands equality._

* * *

"Look I've made fresh bottles… There in the fridge…"

"You've told me that six times now Ginger and to be perfectly honest it's not like I'd go looking for them in the oven." Cox bit because it rubbed him entirely the wrong way that the other was still here.

JD wasn't expecting a thank you… mostly he was happy that he'd gotten through the day with all his limbs in tact.

"I emptied all the old ones so… and you know you should probably try not to drink quite so much so…"

"Yes Suzette I'm well aware that I should not be drinking whilst looking after a very minor, minor. But since I do not care-" JD frowned as the other tipped back more alcohol.

"If you drop Jordan's child she'll come back to haunt you." JD sniped back and then realized that he'd mentioned Jordan, had actually said the name. He'd been trying not too all day.

Dr. Cox froze drink half way to his mouth.

"You're probably right." He snorted and then dropped the glass onto the table, sprawled out on the lounge with his son sleeping on his chest.

-.-.-

JD still had that unsettling feeling of dread as he approached the hospital. He didn't want to leave Dr. Cox like that… but there wasn't really much of an alternative.

**Like many times before the hospital stretches out before me like some sort of demonic entity. Flames are actually starting to flare from the top windows and the use-to-be-a-door mouth is currently gaping open wide. Welcoming me in, to the pits of hell… I wonder if Jordan really could overthrow Satan…**

JD shook his head and banished the image. The hospital was a building, nothing more… the Jordan question though was still up for debate. Though he probably shouldn't be thinking things like that, Jordan was… gone and hadn't his mother always said not to speak ill of the dead.

**Okay 12 hours you can do this…** Mostly he just hoped to mope around for the shift and try to get his head straight. Try to work out exactly how he felt about Jordan's death. He hadn't really known her, they'd slept together, she'd broken Dr. Cox's heart on a regular basis, she'd left her son… which led him right back to having no idea how he should feel about it.

"Hey you…" Luckily he didn't actually have time to mull over it.

The Janitor was glaring at him. JD was wondering what he could possibly have done to the other in the five second space since he'd stepped inside the doors. **The very demonic looking doors… Stop it!**

"What?" He said cautiously.

"Hold this for me." He ordered more than asked. JD took the slightly sticky, hallow glass globe. It was roughly the size of his head and looked like a light shade… though not a hospital one, those were fluoro's.

He decided not to question how the other kept the hospital in working order that had backfired too many times. Instead he stood beside the others ladder, out of the middle of the hall, watching quietly as the other finished whatever it was he was doing and stepped down.

"Wait doesn't this need to go back up?" JD asked, wearily, but unsure of where the Janitor could possibly be going with this.

"Oh that doesn't go there." The other said laughing as he folded up the ladder and walked off.

JD stood there for a moment looking at the globe… maybe the other was simply running out of ideas. He shook his head and moved to cradle the shade in one hand… **Damn it!**

JD sighed realizing both his hands were stuck to the glass. He supposed he deserved it really; he had to stop being such an easy target. JD shook his head and started to shuffle towards the elevator… Carla was only two floors up, she, after some giggling would help him out.

Luckily he wasn't in the lift alone and didn't have to work out how to press the button himself, with no fingers. The down side of course was that there were other passengers one of which happened to be Dr. Kelso.

"Son, are you carrying around one of the hospital's light fixture's…" JD winced, of all the stuff he'd ever nicked, he was about to get busted for stealing one of the Janitor's stupid pranks. **Alright just stay cool and think of a lie…**

"Argh no Sir this is mine, it's my pet shade. I'm walking it." **Smoooth!** His brain taunted.

"Son, drug tests aren't mandatory, but I think for you maybe we should start scheduling them, say once a week." He frowned pushing passed JD as the metal room jerked to a stop. JD ducked out of the closing doors and waded across to the nurse's station, relieved when he found Carla standing up front filling in paperwork.

"Carla, help please?" He begged shamelessly as his backpack slipped off his shoulder and weighed heavily on his elbow. He placed the shade and his hands on the counter.

"What's with the globe Bambi?" She said glancing up from the files.

"The Janitor got me." He explained, showing that his hands were stuck..

"Again… Bambi you really need to just leave him alone." Carla chided.

"I really didn't do anything to him this time… I didn't even do anything that could be classed as something… even by his freakishly skewed standards." JD pouted. Carla sighed and finished with the last piece of paper.

She pulled nail polish remover and a bag of cotton balls from somewhere below the counter and then pulled him into the nurses lounge.

"So what else is going on?" She asked after finally managing to get him sitting in a comfortable position, his bag perched precariously on the edge of the sofa.

"Besides that my hands and a light fitting are now one cohesive unit, nothing wrong." JD said watching her dab around his palms; the green liquid evaporated quickly leaving his hands with a peculiar dry tingle.

"I didn't say anything was wrong, I said what else is going on?" Carla smirked.

"And don't say 'nothing' Bambi 'cos you're in the same scrubs you left in this morning and I bet you still have that red punk rock T-shirt in your bag… Plus Turk said you weren't at home when he got there and you smell like some cheap hussy's coconut delight perfume."

Actually scarily enough it was Jordan's coconut dreams shower gel and although JD hadn't exactly been comfortable about using it, it was that, stale sweat or a dark bottle of something he assumed Dr. Cox used, which smelt vile, dark and bitter, almost like coffee beans and made him gag. The girly choice of course had sparked criticism from Dr. Cox, reminding JD of why he wasn't really that comfortable with showering there in the first place. His mind conjured up the image for him…

**JD jumped as the ba****throom door opened.**

"**Oh hi Dr. Cox…" He stumbled, feeling incredibly naked, because he was naked, standing in a glass shower.**

"**Looking for something?" He said as the other riffled through the cabinet.**

"**No of course not this is just a clever cover so I can check you out Jennifer." He grumbled and strangely enough JD relaxed a little bit. Because yes it was Dr. Cox and he didn't actually have any interest in JD at all, let-alone in checking him out, not that he had anything to be embarrassed about, anyway.**

**He pulled a bottle of pills from the cupboard, it looked like a bottle of over the counter aspirin and JD figured the other was a little hung-over, not that he'd really stopped drinking.**

"**You know you probably shouldn't be taking those right now." JD offered, rinsing the suds from his arms.**

"**And do you know that someone as feminine as you really shouldn't be using such girly smelling products… It just invites all kinds of unwanted attention. Next thing you know you'll be getting dragged into supply closets by random doctors and boy won't they get a surprise… Nothing worse than finding extra parts on the hot doctor you've just fallen for…" He ranted after dry swallowing two pills.**

"**What?" He snapped as JD snickered.**

"**You just called me hot." JD half sang, because if Dr. Cox could be all cool and flippant then so could he. He turned to rinse his chest and squeaked as the door opened behind him. JD turned, stumbling back into the corner, arms crossing over his chest.**

"**And you cover your cleavage… really could you make it any easier…" Perry snorted.**

"**I wasn't covering anything and what'd you want?" JD snapped pushing hands back down to his sides. They itched to move back up, or down or anywhere as the other looked him over. What annoyed him most was how the other slouched in the door, looking completely comfortable.**

"**I don't think hot is really appropriate. I've seen better." JD was nonplussed, it didn't shock him, Dr. Cox had seen Jordan naked and Julie. The eyes tracked up and down again.**

"**Though you'd probably be in the top ten." JD blinked trying to work out what that meant, what Dr. Cox meant by it. The shower door closed followed by the bathroom door… JD still standing trying to figure it out.**

"JD… I still got quite a ways to go here so wanna stop stalling and tell me who took you home with them last night." JD watched Carla start work on the last finger stuck down on his right hand… He loved her, really he did. She was what he'd always wanted in a mother, though like most actual mothers and their children those same qualities were also annoying a lot of the time too. Like how she just assumed everything that was his business was her business.

"Just… some girl I met… no one really…" He lied, because it was Dr. Cox's business too and he had no idea how much the other wanted Carla to know. He also doesn't know if he can explain it particularly well either, doesn't even know if he gets what he's doing himself yet.

She looked at him and JD's stomach squirmed because he'd lied to her.

"Well good for you Bambi, glad to see you're not still hung up on Elliot." Carla smiled and pried up another digit.


	4. Karma God's

**A/N: Doomthatimpends and Yumi... sorry to tease you two with slow updates, I am however related to Jordan though so what do you expect. Thanks guys. Also thankyou to Movethosehips for reviewing as well. Enjoy the new chapter guys...  
**

**Chapter Three**

_**Karma God's**_

_The friend who can be silent with us in a moment of despair or confusion, who can stay with us in an hour of grief and bereavement, who can tolerate not knowing... not healing, not curing... that is a friend who cares._

_Henri Nouwen_

* * *

**Of course I should have known that I wouldn't get away with it. The Karma God's don't really like me, so their not willing to let things like lying to Carla go, no matter how good the cause is.**

"So you've fed him…" **I asked Doctor Cox, phone pressed to my ear.**

"Yes Suzy." **The answers were slow, disjointed, but not really particularly drunk sounding.**

"So he's fine and you're fine…" **I sound whiny and needy, but I've been on edge all night… Hell Carla had to stop me from sending the wrong patient to surgery earlier. Though, would removing a perfectly healthy kidney really be that bad… argh probably, law suits and stuff and Ted would probably black-out again...**

"Yes Bianca."

"Okay well guess then I'll be over after my shift, just for a few minutes to check in…" **I sighed, knowing that it wasn't my problem… and yet it was Doctor Cox. He always showed up just in time to help me…**

"Super Gillian." **He breezed and then hung up. I dropped the receiver back into the phone cradle.**

"Alight Bambi spill it!" JD jumped and wheeled around on Carla. Her arms were crossed over her chest. He cursed the Karma god's, when really maybe it was his own fault… he'd used the phone at the nurse's station and was now wondering why he'd ever made that choice. He just made it way too easy; he was literally starting to screw himself over.

"Spill what… I'm not doing anything." He tried for casual and got something close to shifty bordering on hysterical.

"You have been walking around this place all day… with a vacant head." Carla glared and JD frowned.

"You know, the lights are on, but you're not in." She explained, he kept with the blank stare.

"Oh come on Bambi you come in this morning completely disheveled… you walk around all day with a head full of air and now your ringing Doctor Cox… asking if, I would guess, that Jordan's son is okay…" **Maybe she's an evil vampire lord with mind reading powers… probably not… Oh god she's tapping her foot.**

JD grabbed her wrist and dragged her into an empty hospital room.

"Bambi what are you doing!" She snapped heaving her wrist from his hand.

"What?" She said when he shushed her.

"Jordan's… dead…" He said bluntly, because he couldn't deal with Doctor Cox and Carla at the same time, it was too draining.

"What…" It was too exhausting just dealing with Cox.

"Jordan decided that she had mommy issues and ditched Dr. Cox and went to Paris. Only she didn't make it that far 'cos the plane crashed… as they do and now Dr. Cox is a basket case and I spent the day there and he's completely nuts… Like not even normal nuts… Just like fruitcake nuts… And I used Jordan's shower stuff which is why I smell like cheap coconuts and…"

"Okay Bambi sit down and breathe before you pass out." Carla said pushing him down onto the sofa. She gives it a few moments thought.

"Okay here's what I think you should do…" JD would fall to the floor and kiss Carla's shoes right now, because she knows what to do, Carla always knows what to do.

"I think you should…" She jerks to a stop and starts to inspect her fingernails and JD has that sickening sinking feeling, as Carla's eyes dart up to meet his.

**Oh God Bambi's giving me that little lost lamb look. Like I'm supposed to automatically just have all the answers to his problems. Why don't I just decide to hold the keys to heaven while I'm at it!**

"I got nothing…" **I confess falling down beside him, because it's impossible to know what to do where Perry's concerned. The man is so damn private and touchy and defensive. I can't even believe that Jordan's dead…**

"Nothing at all?" **He frowns in that helpless little hopeful voice. I open my mouth, trying to just will something insightful to come out. I just wind up looking like some demented fish in the end.**

"Well… I… think he just needs you to be there." **Ha… look I bounce back… okay not really.**

"Be there?" JD frowned…

"Yeah, Dr. Cox doesn't know how to ask for help and more than that he doesn't usually take it even when it's offered… so if he's talking to you JD… just let him ramble. I mean if you want to… do you…"

**I would use this same look if Carla had sprouted a second head. Because Carla and Dr. Cox are best friends… or at least as close as the man has and she has no idea what to do… Carla doesn't know what to do! What the hell chance do I have?**

"Yeah I'm going to head over after work, just to kind of check in on him and the baby…" JD sighed pushing hair behind his ear.

"Oh god I forgot about the baby… how's he doing?" Carla asked mind whirling. JD shrugged picking at his nails.

"Jordan's baby was fine when I left and when I called Dr. Cox said he was okay and that he's feeding him… but ya know he was drunk the entire time I was there and I know he needs help, but I don't know what to do Carla."

"Nurse Espinosa." Dr. Kelso's voice suddenly cuts through the room; he looms in the door, with Ted lurking behind him.

"Yes Sir?" She says jumping to her feet.

"Has Dr. Cox happened to call you in regards to the second shift he's missed?" He snaps, foul mood in full swing.

"No Sir but…" Carla bites her lip trying to come up with some bullshit story for the other.

"Hah! Ted can I fire him because of that?" He says joyously.

"Well technically…" Ted drones.

"He's sick Dr. Kelso, really sick." JD cuts in.

"Oh really Dr. Dorian… mind telling me the name of this convenient aliment?" Kelso glared and JD froze a little.

"Leprosy-" He stuttered.

"It's chicken pox Sir." Carla cut in, stepping in front of JD.

"At his age?" Kelso glared.

"Yes… his second time too." Carla breathed.

"I sent JD over after his shift last night because Dr. Cox hadn't shown for work and he's quite ill… JD tried to convince him to come in for tests but Dr. Cox wants to wait a while longer, to see if he'll get any worse…" JD nodded along mindlessly with her.

"I don't think you can fire him now Sir… not without getting sued." Ted informs and Kelso grimaces, looking like Christmas has just been cancelled.

"Damn it." He grumbles.

"If it's any consolation, he is really sick sir… He may possibly die…" JD rambles.

"Well… there is always that…" Dr. Kelso sighs, looking thoughtful.

"Come along Ted."

-.-.-

JD had that minor moment of panic again as he knocked on Dr. Cox's door. It opens a deal faster than last time and the other looks in worse shape then when he left. Perry doesn't bother to ask him why he's there, just walks away from the door, leaving it wide open. JD takes it as an invite and steps inside, closing the door behind him.

"Hey where's the baby?" JD questions as Dr. Cox stretches out across the lounge.

"I French roasted him and then ate his fingers." Perry says dully, watching the TV. JD starts a little when he first says it and then just stops and stares at the other, trying to figure out whether he's really drunk and sleep deprived, or whether he's been crying. He hopes like hell it's the first one.

"I bathed him and put him in his crib." Dr. Cox mumbles and JD can't help but notice that there's no glass sitting near him.

He decides he'll sleep better if he doesn't know and moves through to check in on the baby. The kid's laying face up staring at the ceiling, hooded eyes a deep vivid blue, toes curling slowly on each foot. JD brushes his forehead lightly and then moves to pick up the emptied bottle beside his crib, leftover milk pooling in the bottom.

He pushes on his way out, stopped by a white baby book lying open on the dresser… He looks over the silver spiked writing that fills the page, knowing that it's Jordan whose written it, because Dr. Cox's lettering is softer, with loops.

Date of Birth, Time, Hospital… First feeding, first nap… JD feels a sick ache as he turns to a blank page… First yawn… He closed the book up and went to toss the bottle into the sink. He opens the fridge and finds fresh bottles already made… JD shifts uncomfortably, because something's off, he can just feel it.

He heads back into the lounge and the other is still slumped on the couch, not so unusual really.

"Perry if you don't get that thing out of my face I swear…" A much younger looking Jordan threatens on the TV screen, JD feels something claw at the bottom of his stomach.

"You okay Dr. Cox?" **I ask going to sit beside him, in the broadest sense of the word, because there's him, a massive gap and then me, wedged awkwardly near the arm.**

"I'm super." **He mumbles and I continue to stare, not wanting to watch old home movies of his, relieved when he turns them off a moment later.**

"There's nothing wrong?" **I ask stupidly.**

"Awww Sally… question is… 'What's right?'**." He grits and I try to sink even further into the upholstery as he pushes himself up across the seats, head finally coming to rest against my knees… Dr. Cox's head is in my lap… if I could move I'd be looking out the window for falling brimstone.**

"Ben called… They've found Jordan's…" **He cuts off into a drawn out hiss, hand rubbing absently across my kneecaps.**

"Well yeah Dr. Cox they were bound to…" I **finally say, trying to work out what's…**

"I thought she might've gotten a different plane…" **Oooohhh... He eyes screw shut for a moment and my hand drops unconsciously to stroke through his hair.**

"No fights this time Ella, no second chances, its just over…" **I'm sorry just doesn't seem to cut it.**


	5. Morning After

**A/N: Oh hello all, thankyou everyone who has reviewed and waited patiently for the update... sorry I was suffering from painter that won't leave... even after I'd paid them... I mean my god... Anyhow on with the show... **

**Chapter Four**

_**Morning After**_

_The lion and the calf will lay down together, but the calf won't get much sleep._

JD awoke with the thought that Rowdy had crawled into bed with him again. Weight resting on his legs, his hand buried in something soft and furry. He blinked and tried to swallow the bad taste from the back of his throat.

JD pushed at the weight, starting a little as an arm wrapped around his waist, a face pressing his stomach. JD's eyes shot open, a moment of shear terror setting in as he realised it was Dr. Cox in his lap.

"Stop squirming Jacinta, mm-it's annoying…" He slurred, the words leaving JD motionless, because he remembered the lead up to this now and it both comforted and disturbed him.

"Argh hey Doctor Cox-" JD stuttered as the arm tightened around his waist, JD trying not to choke when the other inhales deeply, nose well and truly buried beneath JD's navel and God he is so not comfortable with this; so not comfortable with his mentor sniffing him.

"You smell like her." The voice almost bears no tone whatsoever but JD takes it as an accusation anyway and rushes to explain.

"Well yeah I-"

"It's good." It's not the phrase which cuts him off, that comes later after his throat closes over, Perry moving to push his shirt up, just the barest inch, the brush of cool air and then it's replaced by warm lips… So he's already speechless by the time Perry mumbles and then slides off the chair and moves away. Off to somewhere behind him, the kitchen maybe. JD calks it all up to alcohol and grief and keeps his thoughts from wondering into any kind of further analysis.

"So how about another pizza?"

* * *

JD flinched as a full duffle was dropped down in front of him; he looked up to Carla mind still very much elsewhere.

"Thanks." It was listless sounding and toneless, so very suiting of his mood, mind so far elsewhere that it took him a moment to notice Carla's pursed lips and restless shifting.

"What?"

"I- told Turk-" She shrugged with an edgy smile. JD mulled over the sentence.

"Told him what?" He asked having come up with a blank. **It's impossible to get my head around Dr. Cox kissing me- It's an accident or a misunderstanding or something. He's either drunk or hung-over, not two conditions that aid in clear thinking and-wait-**

"Carla!" Realisation struck without further help, pieces suddenly dropping into place, she jumped a little at the scandalised tone.

"Well I had to tell him something, you haven't been home in two days and your head's way up in the clouds Bambi."

"My head's not in the clouds." **He didn't mean it like a kiss, he's- insane, temporary insanity, people get away with murder because of it, so I should probably just-**

"See there, you're off again JD." **Cut him some slack, I mean things don't have to be awkward; it's like the shower it's just, not anything.**

"I am not!" **God am I really worried about my virtue with Dr. Cox?**

"Oh yeah what'd I just say then." **Did I just use the word virtue?**

"What?" **Again realisation clicks into place a second after I've opened my big fat mouth. Carla glares the way only she can.**

"Fine, ignore me all you want but if you send another patient for the wrong surgery-"

"I'm sorry Carla, I just-" **Dr. Cox kissed my stomach.**

"I know-" Her face softened and she dropped down beside him, the conversation stalling for a moment.

"JD he's my friend too, and Turk already knew about Jordan. The broad made an announcement this morning, papers supposed to be printing an article next week about-her. I just told him where you were bunking."

"What does Turk think?" **I was almost afraid to ask, Dr Cox and Turk aren't exactly the best of friends and in some strange way I felt like I was cheating on Turk. I tried to quash the feeling quickly though since it stumbled far too close to uncomfortable territory. Dating and cheating and kissing- Oh god I've gotta stop!**

"He thinks your nuts, but I also think he kind of understands as well, maybe." Her voice sounded uncertain.

"He won't say anything." She said firmly as JD glanced over to her.

"I threatened him." Carla said almost proudly.

"His life?"

"No Sex."

"OH." **Yeah, that'd do it!**


	6. Kindest Cut

**A/N: Ye, Yes, I know... There still not mine... sigh...**

**Chapter Five**

_**Kindest Cuts**_

_Take care, don't fight, and remember: if you do not choose to lead, you will forever be led by others. Find what scares you, and do it. And you can make a difference, if you choose to do so._

_J. Michael Straczynski_

* * *

**I promised Carla that I'd make it a point to talk to Turk today, however somehow it slipped my mind until after his shift. Busy hospital, lots of patients… coupled with me avoiding him like the plague… Hah, who would've thought!**

**Okay so it's not like I don't wanna talk to Turk its just I really don't wanna talk to him about this. He and Dr. Cox it's the whole; oil, vinegar, honey, water thing… Sounds like I'm making salad dressing, you know what I mean though.**

"It's open Georgina…" **It seemed a little odd to me, but as I pushed open the door nothing seemed to out of place. Dr. Cox was slouched in the middle of the couch, feet propped up in front on the glossed coffee table. His son is resting against his chest working his way through another bottle. Everything seems normal, well as normal as it even gets with Dr. Cox.**

**Still there's this kind of odd sense of dread knotting the ****muscles across my shoulders. Okay so I've gone a little paranoid, realistically I should have been expecting this. It's not exactly awkward though-or embarrassed… Am I actually nervous? Now see this is what's happens when-**

The stark red against the florescent white bottled formula cuts off the internal rant- Bloody fingerprints… JD felt a sickeningly icy jolt below his stomach.

"Hey Dr. Cox, anything wrong…" In truth he didn't want to know, because just the possibilities were nasty enough.

"Nope."

"Hey- ah how's about I take- him and put him down to-" JD moved closer to the couch rubbing his hands nervously. Dr. Cox looked up frowning.

"Put him down? He had Jordan as a mother, what could you possibly say that was worse." He turned his son around in his arms and JD was relieved to see blue eyes part with an almost irritated look and surely only their child could manage the expression at such a young age.

"Come on level with us-" Perry addressed the small child.

"You had Jordan as a mother, now you have no mother, no father- except for me and gosh isn't that a swell consolation prize and to top it all off you have Justine here as a- crazy kind of an aunt. So tell me, is there anything, any other way that you can possibly be put down, anyway at all?" There was a long string of milky dribble from the small mouth.

"I'll take that as a no."

"Very funny." JD glared taking the blue suited child.

"You know eventually you are gonna have to cut the umbilical cord Helena. Just telling you now, so you'll be ready in time for college." JD rolled his eyes as he moved passed the kitchen and into the nursery. He set the sleeping boy in the cot, stunned to see the jumpsuit unmarred besides a few light smudges, too light to have come from the boy himself. JD checked over the delicate limbs, guilt settling in deep in his stomach. He returned to the lounge feeling embarrassed again this time over thinking that Perry would actually hurt his son, or any child for that matter.

It was a simple equation though and if his son wasn't injured then the blood must have come from Perry himself.

JD actually noted the kitchen as he tracked back passed it this time, it was hard not too. The room was trashed, in every possible sense of the word. Cupboards were hanging open pots and pans out and lying haphazardly across the floor. Glasses, plates and bowls were out in pieces littering the white tile between the bulbous bits of stainless steel. Some of the shards were bloody.

"Hold out your hands." JD ordered, moving back into the lounge, standing beside Perry outstretched legs.

"If this is a proposal Erica I really can't accept." He lifted his hands from his knees and JD ignored the comment, turning his palms face up. There were a few stray nicks, a deeper slice near his thumb, they barely needed bandaids.

"OH yeah-" Perry looked over his own hands as JD released them, as though he'd only just noticed he had them.

"I did some renovations on the kitchen. How do you like the new look?"

"It's nice… very insane rampage meets post apocalyptic war." JD sighed dropping down onto the coffee table by Perry's bared feet, the tension knotted across his shoulders eased slightly. JD winced and slid over a little as something cool soaked into his pant leg.

"Fabulous just the look I was going for." JD swiped at the cold patch of fabric, frowning as his hand came away red.

"Why?" He asked absently as he shifted further and looked down at the dark surface. There was blood puddled in small pools and smears, JD's eyes flicking up to Perry's feet.

"OH no." He winced, then shifted closer and pulled the pulped appendages up onto his knees.

"Fiona, rubbing my feet? Touch domestic even for you isn't it?"

"I'm not rubbing them." He snapped tension coiling again.

"You walked through the kitchen…" He sighed, frowning at the look of indifference.

**Sally-Ann tells me like I'm not supposed to have noticed that my feet are torn to shreds. I've noticed, but I just can't seem to care, actually the shard near my little toe kind of stings anytime I move it and I swear to god it's the only thing that's keeping me from tearing apart another room in this god forsaken purgatory.**

**He disappears for a second and comes back carting Jordan's rather large and paranoid-ly overstocked first aid kit. Fantastic- and I would like my wildly sarcastic voice noted on that one!**

"So- do you wanna talk-"

"God no."

**He's finished with the first foot before I realise that I don't want him here. My skin prickles with irritation, hairs on my neck twitching, poor-fucking animals, now I know how bristling feels.**

"You don't need to stay Rachael." **He pulls the shard from beneath my little toe.**

"**The kitchen would disagree with you." There's an odd set to his shoulders and a definite edge to his voice.**

"The kitchen's none of your business." **I flinch as antiseptic is rubbed on none to gently. I clench my toes in frustration.**

"Stop moving." **And the tones not one I've heard before.**

"It's not that difficult." **I wrench my foot from his hands and quickly loop the bandage around the last few times, clipping it in place.**

"And now you can go Cynthia." **I press my feet into the carpet as hard as I can, thrilled that it hurts so much to walk.**

"You shouldn't be walking around when your feet are like that." **Again I'm suppose to not know this?**

"If I throw a little rubber ball toto, will you leave?" **I turn my back to him so I won't have to see that disapproving expression, I can't avoid the sigh though and it irritates me more than anything else he's ever done. I grab for the nearest unemptied bottle.**

"Please don't start drinking again." **I grind my teeth in frustration. This is what happens when you joke with them. I only have myself to blame, I let it slide the other day and now, he thinks that sad kind of disappointed voice will have an effect on me.**

"Would you go home!" **I keep my voice as even as possible, since there's not going to be any argument over this.**

"You know Dr. Cox I really don't get you." **When I turn he's standing arms crossed, legs spaced.**

"Music to my ears."

"You have a child to worry about."

"NO, Jordan had a child to worry about… so take the trip to hell and go whine at her." **His mouth drops open and then snaps closed, teeth sinking into his bottom lip.**

"You're a huge pain in my ass." **I wonder what he decided not to say.**

"You know Carla and I are the first to defend you usually, but everyone's right you're a selfish, self-serving, narcissistic, arrogant, egomaniac, who's just-" **A headache's starting to curl along the base of my brain and every word out of his mouth feels like someone stick glass beneath my eyes.**

"Jor-" **My teeth are biting into my cheek before I realise why. His eyes actually drop to the floor, head bent, arms now wrapped around himself more than crossed, the argument having taken an uncomfortable turn. My chest feels tight and worse I actually wish for the tingling left arm.**

**Of all the stupid things he's ever done, all the stupid questions, mistakes- jokes, they've all irritated me. But this makes me hate him, he's done something unfixable and I don't think he understands even that much.**

"And you're not very nice."

"You're a moron." He doesn't mean to throw the decanter, but it hardly changes that he does. The thick crystal crumbling against the wall, there's a hiss from JD as a splinter flies loose; nicking the back of his hand.


	7. Out On The Couch

**A/N: Hey all, guess what- I still don't own the boys... isn't it sad especially since I could do so much more with them... Okay not really, well probably not. A big thankyou to all my reviewers; NightmareAhead, ally, edheadnumber99, Even Gods Dream, PurplePebble, Doomthatimpends, Marie Terensky, psychotic KAT and Tenedor grimm018 and god i need to just start thankyou as a group. Also just to give you a laugh its entirely possible that my brand new computer which i got for an unbelievable price quite possible came from off the back of a truck- don't ask... Enjoy the chapter.**

**Chapter Seven**

**_Out On The Couch_**

_Love that we cannot have is the one that lasts the longest, hurts the deepest and feels the strongest..._

* * *

"Shit." **His shoulder's slump as I cradle my bleeding hand.**

"Give me a look Tiffany." **He orders and usually I'd just let him, only right now I'm feeling pretty petulant, I'm also shaking slightly, jittery like I've had one cup of coffee too many.**

"Mind your own business." **There a childish satisfaction in using his words. Dr. Cox rolls his eyes and grabs my wrist, fingers warm against mine. It feels strange, wrong and I fight not to squirm.**

"It's just a scratch." **He pushes me over and down onto the couch, sitting beside me.**

"I'm supposed to be the one kissing your-"

"Okay newbie so that everything here is as clear as possible, I'm taping gauze to your hand, I am not, have not and nor will I ever _kiss_ anything of yours." **Okay so it was a stupid thing to say, from now on I'll leave childhood sayings out of general conversation. To my credit though I leave the correction unsaid, no sense in stirring an already murky pot. Especially when Dr. Cox is in the position to break one of my fingers-**

"And so I don't have to break anything that belongs to you, you will not ever kiss anything of mine." **See, see.**

"Like I really wanna kiss anything of yours-" **My mentor everyone, absolutely hilarious, I watch his long fingers smooth over the sides of the gauze.**

"OH Jenny, 'course you do."

"What's that supposed to mean?" **It's not the sentence that's unusual but the tone, kind of too insinuating to be just simple taunting. I look up at cool, clear eyes that I wish were less perceptive.**

**-.-.- **

"Sleeping Beauty, nap time is most definitely over now and I don't care how long you lay there I am most definitely not kissing you." JD pulled away from the hand shaking him from sleep, dream refusing to let go from the corners of his mind.

"Sleeping Beauty?" JD inched away from Dr. Cox even before his mind had fully come up with why. He sat up and crossed his legs on the lounge, weary. The other must have noticed, clearing his throat and stepping back a little. JD figured acknowledgement was probably about as close to an apology as he'd ever get.

"You've been out most of the day."

"Damn it." After interning for a year JD went straight to panic, reaching blindly for his shoes beside the couch.

"Calm down you neurotic deer in headlights, its only 3.30-Shifts not until 7- so- come have something to eat." JD stayed curled on the couch for a moment after Dr. Cox retreated in the direction of the kitchen, trying to sort out his head.

**Okay so got the cut on my hand… He stomped off to bed; I fixed my own hand, made a dent in cleaning the kitchen, and then crashed on the couch for… 14 hours… Had completely pointless and yet somehow disturbing dream.**

**I had a fight with Doctor Cox- and lived… argh no one would believe it.**

JD pulled himself up from the couch and tried to scrub the doubts from his head via his eyes as he padded towards the kitchen. It was an anxious trip and he half chickened-out by ducking past the open entryway and heading for the bathroom, okay so the rather pressing urge to make use of the bathroom came into play as well but ultimately he was stalling. Was considering just leaving up until the point where he splashed cold water over his face and realised that it wasn't really a fruitful sounding option.

The walk back the kitchen was just as painful as the initial one to the bathroom, though now that JD's head was a little clearer there was the distinct smell of Chinese food to comfort him.

"Don't lurk Whitney it's not an attractive quality in a girl like you." JD sighed outside the door and ambled in slowly, shoulder brushing the wall.

"I was not lurking and Whitney can be a boy's name." He grumbled.

"But you're not a boy Gwen." JD glared at his back, Dr. Cox standing at the counter pouring a cup of coffee; little baby no-name resting in a seat on the countertop a few inches down from him. There was a bucket of glass on the side of the sink, the counters, and floor now pristine, JD had started cleaning last night but had left the bulk of it.

"I'm pretty sure the food isn't going to eat you newbie, no matter how much you may want the cheap thrill." He turned and set the cup on the table in front of JD, feet bare and still bandaged and JD could tell by how he stood that it hurt to put weight on them. His shoulders were slumped slightly and for the first time, JD actually thought he looked close to his age. JD pulled open a plastic container of fried rice and picked at it for a moment.

"Dr. Cox I'm sorry." He said finally, feeling guilty and awkward, he'd lost Jordan and JD had called him names.

"For what?" The eyes were a muted kind of blue.

"Ya know for just being a brat, I shouldn't have shouted last night I mean with Jordan and I just-"

"Listen newbie, since your having trouble grasping this let me make the whole concept clearer for you. I get drunk and abusive, then I apologise, not you."

"Well yeah but-"

"No Buts, Jordan's dead-" JD's stomach twisted at the crass mention.

"I have to deal with that- and with her son and hell I can't do that by crawling into the bottom of a bottle." It was a raw confession and JD, taken by surprise, goes back to glaring at his food.

"So- are you… you gotta be okay now- or…"

"I don't know." He went back to the still hot kettle and starting making another cup of coffee.

"Guess I've gotta work out shorter shift hours with Kelso and find a nanny- with any luck I'll be back at work in a fortnight." He finds it easier to talk if he doesn't actually have to look at JD.

"Doesn't have to be that quick, Carla and I, more Carla than me, have Dr. Kelso convinced that you're on your deathbed and everyone will understand if you need more time to-"

"That's sweet Claudette, but if I sit around here any longer and brood- I really will end up hurling myself off of the hospital roof." He set his own cup heavily on the table.

"Or you know a much higher building that will actually kill me." The phone rang shrilly, interrupting what was shaping up to be the most awkward moment of JD's life. It was a short call; Dr. Cox's answers a series of grunts and other uncategorised noises, the phone dropping back into the cradle with a dull thud, Dr. Cox going to lean against the table once more, stirring idly at his black coffee.

"Jordan's funeral's on Saturday." He said quietly and JD floundered for a moment, fork digging even further into the rice.

"I could go with you." He offered timidly, unsure of where he and Dr. Cox stood at the moment.

"Are you gonna cry on my shoulder Danielle?" The voice is rough and JD doesn't want to look closer and find out whether the eyes are actually misty or if it's just a trick of the light.

"Yeah and blow my nose on your sleeve."

"You do that and I'll choke you."


	8. Family Affairs

**A/N: Hey all thankyou so much to all my lovely reviewers, sorry about the wait on this guys I've just been swamped recently. This is a reasonably long chapter though and hopefully it was worth the wait. Cheers. Oh and by the by a lot of you's seemed to notice with the last chapter there was a place where it went from JD dreaming to Dr. Cox waking him up- kind of confusing- that was because the uploading thing ate my break- so yeah to everyone who pointed that out thanks- sometimes I just forget to check that there all there. Oh and guys also I had someone trash me yesterday for how often I spell realised instead of realized- I'm Australian and thats how we spell it- just so everyone's clear- I pretty much thought everyone got that but anyway.**

**Chapter Eight**

_**Family Affairs**_

_The bitterest tear shed over graves are for words left unsaid and deeds left undone._

_Harriet Beecher Stowe_

* * *

"Now newbie we've been over this right if you do in fact blow your nose on my sleeve I will be forced to-"

"Lock me in the coffin with Jordan was what you finally decided on right?" JD said smoothly watching Perry lift his son from the backseat of his car.

"And remember Florence Nightingale, Jordan's gatherings always attracted an odd lot of people- so if you should just so happen to see an odd little guy sporting horns and a pitchfork try'en restrain yourself from selling your soul for the rich husband that you've had your girlish heart set on for years." **As I've said many times before- my mentor everyone- just hilarious.**

"Out of morbid curiosity- what exactly would I have to do to stop you from calling me a girl?"

"Well my first thought would be that you'd actually have to give up being so incredibly female- I mean my god Newbie I won't be one bit surprised if one day I hear your whiny voice behind me and turn to find you sporting a rack beneath your size-too-small scrubs. Which brings me to my next point of oh my god Veronica- just because you can squeeze into a size 4 does not mean you should, even if it does give you that enticing if somewhat pale swell of arse beneath a frilly pink g-string line every time you bend over." **Okay so there have been occasions where, when wearing a medium sized pair of scrubs that I have- maybe shown off a little of my butt- but there was no g-string, pink or otherwise.**

"You've been watching me bend over?" **Okay so I'm stalling, I'm leaned against Dr. Cox car- I wonder why he hasn't ordered me off- with one hand resting firmly against the hood. I don't wanna move, I don't wanna contemplate the row of grave stones just outside of my vision right now.**

"You see Janice this is exactly what I mean- the only thing that you took note of in that speech was 'oh yay all the gor-geous manly doctors are checking me out.'" **Dr. Cox is pretty much famous for elongating words, this time though he actually puts work into mocking me, fluttering his eye lashes at **_**gorgeous**_** and I get the general impression that he'd jump up and down and clap too if he didn't have his son in his arms.**

"Come along Newbie- as gay as it sounds when Johnny Depp says it- I'm sticking to the code- fall behind, get left behind." **Okay stalling's over.**

-.-.-

**There's not much that I've ever thanked god for, though getting to my ex-wife's funeral late is one, everyone is already seated and (this is the part I was thanking not just god in general for but listing the names of every deity I knew alphabetically) I actually managed to sit as far from my ex-mother in law as possible, well maybe not technically, but sitting at opposite corners with a coffin between us did wonders for my mood.**

"I don't see Ben anywhere." **J.D. pointed out as he took the seat beside mine, I'd already noticed, hard to miss since Ben and I usually gravitate towards each other, we had at every other god forsaken 'family' gathering.**

**Predictably everyone settles as a priest moves to stand at the top of the coffin and isn't that just a large slice of dramatic irony- a priest at Jordan's funeral, only if he's been defrocked is that in anyway appropriate.**

"Well I thought so too- actually I wanted a bartender to conduct the service I thought it would be somehow more appropriate- but you know mother…" Perry froze for a moment trying to brace himself before looking to his right, Jordan sprawled lazily where JD should have been. He looked forward and screwed his eyes shut for a moment.

"Well that's not going to help." Dr. Cox sighed and looked back at his ex-wife.

"Are you in that coffin?"

"Of course what you think its there just for atmosphere." She scoffed inspecting her nails.

"Then what the hell are you doing out here?"

"I can't come to my own funeral Percival?" She snapped hands dropping to her lap.

"No Jordan you can't-" He finally took stock of the red spandex outfit she was wearing, plastic horns resting high on her head.

"Are you…"

"Don't get excited Perry it's just a Halloween costume." She snorted.

"Jordan you're dead…"

"Really? God, I hope so or the coffin may just be a little bit much." She observed coolly.

"Good-god I'm talking to a dead woman-" Perry sighed head dropping into his hand.

"Hey watch my son- and no Perry I'm dead- you're talking to yourself." She said with smug satisfaction.

"You know it's just like you to pull something like this-" He said between clenched teeth. JD's curious gaze met his own as Perry pushed himself up out of the slump.

"Okay- sorry- it was just an offer." The slender man mumbled turning away from him with a distinct 'this is me uncomfortable' tilt to his shoulders.

-.-.-

"Say goodbye to Mum." **As I watched Dr. Cox talk to his son and call Jordan 'mum', looking forlorn as he gave her coffin one last look, I labelled it as one of his softest moments- he seemed to hold his son against his chest almost like safety blanket. I'll never ever forget that look, because I knew the moment I saw it that I'd never be able to view Dr. Cox the same again- he's human and from that moment I'd always see him that way.**

**I then realised that grief is the one thing that can make us feel completely alone and completely hopeless. That it doesn't matter how many people we have around us telling us that it'll be okay, because every fibre of our beings is telling us that everything's changed- that nothing can ever be the same.**

"Come on Newbie." The voice was strained and low, Dr. Cox walking in long strides passed JD, not wanting to hang about and deal with Jordan's mother in particular- not that he was especially crazy about her sister either.

"Hey Newbie you wanna drive?" Perry asked when they were halfway across the graveyard and between trying to keep up with the long strides and to suddenly gape at the others offer JD managed to catch his foot on the corner of a bronze plaque and went face first into the grass. He pressed himself up onto his palms after a moment, spitting out grit from between his lips, ready for the berating.

"Tina you keep tripping over your feet like that and you'll never make it as a Ballerina." Despite the words Perry held a hand out to JD, the sentence somehow lacking its normal heartfelt nastiness and somehow that seemed to make JD feel worse.

"I'm sorry but did you just ask if I wanted to drive your car?" JD took the offered hand, gasping as he was hauled up quickly- like he weighed nothing at all.

"Oh come on Newbie it's a 20 minute car trip its not like I asked to father your first born."

"I want a girl- little baby Stephanie." JD said wistfully and then caught himself, he looked over at Perry, who gave him that 'grow a set look'.

"Go ahead say it."

"Too easy Newbie."

-.-.-

"If I find so much as a scratch on my car Greta you are finished." Perry threatened opening the door to his apartment. JD snorted **'easy 20 minute car trip'- more like a 20 minute nervous breakdown.** He had spent the whole time trying to concentrate on driving and watch what looked like Perry completely cracking up in the backseat, the other spending the whole trip curled up beside his son's car seat, utterly silent.

This of course went right out the window when JD slightly misjudged the size of the parking space, or more likely he thought the wall itself had actually moved- crept up a little closer just to get him in trouble- they were Perry's walls after all it was entirely possible in JD's opinion that they were plotting against him.

"There's no scratch." **Oh god I hope.** JD put on his best innocent face, comfortable in the knowledge that Perry most likely wouldn't try'en kill him whilst JD was holding his son, the pair of them sitting on a corner of the lounge watching Perry pace back and forth ripping of various pieces of his suit.

"You've been warned Kimmy." Perry warned as he loosed his tie and disappeared into the bathroom. JD turned Perry's son around to face him.

"If I should happen too suddenly go missing you'll tell everybody you know about this fight right?" A thin string of milky drool slid down the cubby chin.

"Fantastic." This of course made JD wonder if Muppets were in fact allowed to testify at murder trials and if so it posed the interesting question of who would be sworn in, the Muppet or the guy pulling his strings, maybe both. JD shook himself out of the line of thought; as cool as it would be to have Bert, Ernie and Big Bird listed as witnesses in his murder investigation files- it probably wouldn't happen and besides if they had to go into witness protection afterwards that would just make him feel guilty. JD was pulled out of his thoughts on exactly how a Muppet would treated in the witness protection program by a knock at the door.

"Hey whatever you do don't involve Elmo in this- he's too young to die." JD explained as he stood. He got yet more drool in reply as he pulled open the door, blinded by a bright flash as the hall came into view.

"Hey Ben." He winced.


	9. My Dirty Little Secret

**A/N: Guys sorry about the delays- to anyone who's reviewed- thankyou so very much, everyone loves encouragement. Also to anyone who's still with me- I'm sorry if after the wait this seems a little be par... it's bee rewritten to death and I think this is as good as it's getting- overall I'm mostly happy with it, though there are a few stubborn parts I'm still a little iffy on. Hopefully it'll get better.  
**

**Chapter Nine**

_**My Dirty Little Secret**_

_If you reveal your secrets to the wind, you should not blame the wind for revealing them to the trees._

_Kahlil Gibran (1883 - 1931)_

* * *

**After working over a year at Sacred Heart I've learnt that everyone has a funny way of dealing with death- when you look at it objectively even the 'normal' reactions are pretty strange, people who have stood for weeks by a loved ones side without flinching will suddenly just collapse in on themselves at the end, like the fact that there was a sick family member or friend present was the only thing holding them together. The people who have spent weeks hysterically sobbing, wringing there hands and biting their nails will often just stare at you vacantly- like they have no clue what to do any longer. The one thing you can pretty much bank on though is people will never act like themselves.**

**Except for Ben…**

"Oh, JD's got the baby." There was another bright flash and JD stumbled back a step.

"JD's now blind with the baby." JD said scrubbing at his eyes with his barely free hand.

"Oh can I take him?" Ben asked setting the duffle bag on his shoulder by the door.

"Please do." JD frowned- handing over the baby before trying to clear his eyes of dancing black spots.

"Oh no- the poor guy looks like Jordan." Ben grinned, as JD finally managed to blink his eyes reasonably clear.

"How can you tell?" He asked seriously, watching Ben rock Jordan's son.

"It's mostly the nose, very flat, kind-of baboon like." Ben said, pulling a face.

"Jordan would bitch slap you for talking about her son that way." **I jump a little when Dr. Cox reappears suddenly, pulling a jersey down over his head- nobody notices though.**

"Yeah but she's not here." **Am I the only one uncomfortable talking about her that way?**

"Only because I had the place blessed and now evil can't enter."**Apparently that's a yes…**

"How'd I get in then?" **Ben grins as the two hug briefly… and god it makes me jealous… Focus JD…**

"Your plane get delayed?" **I watch Dr. Cox take his son from Ben and realise that not only is this not the time to moon over the fact that the man would rather chew his left arm off then hug me when he's sober… I also have to tell him about his son… just as soon as I get over the debilitating fear that he'll choke me for just being the messenger on that one.**

**Of****course this does lead me into wondering whether hugging someone when you're drunk counts… probably not… if it did then that mean the other stuff would count too… and there's no way Dr. Cox would ever consciously kiss my belly, I hope-**

"It got in on time."

"Then how come you weren't at the funeral."

"I was- I was just up a tree." **Up a tree?**

"What're you- trying to start another retarded euphemism." **Dr. Cox always the polite gentlemen… the up a tree thing is pretty weird though.**

"No- I was actually up a tree- I wanted to get some aerial shot of Jordan's coffin and then when my mother turned up I realised why I don't attend family functions so I just stayed up there. Oh and I think you're supposed to say specially-abled euphemisms now." **Ben's insane.**

"Well that makes perfect sense." **Hm, so I'm not the only one doctor Cox uses that tone with…**

"Which thing?"

"The tree… mainly because I've been waiting for the day that those uppity; politely phrased sayings would revolt and demand constitutional rights." **Okay so clearly their both a little, okay, a lot nuts… Oh god what if crazy is a symptom of having slept with Jordan… and I've caught it. That certainly would explain the urge I had to try on the red evening dress Carla brought…**

**Wait insanity's not contagious- well actually hysteria is, which is a type of… But Ben's Jordan's brother, so that doesn't work either. At least I hope not or else they've- whoa okay back up from that road Dorian!**

"The Bastards… You do remember my mother though, right." **Maybe it's a family trait… you sleep with them and loose a couple of eggs out of your basket.**

"Vaguely- I've tried my darndest to remove most of those memories with lots and lots of Scotch." **Nagh that's just stupid- crazy isn't hereditary- I don't think.**

"I see its working for you… since you don't seem to remember that my mothers never actually going to die- God won't take her on moral grounds… and the devil's afraid of her taking over… then again maybe I'm wrong… we did use to say the same thing about Jordan after all."**So if I didn't catch crazy from Jordan then what was up wanting to try on Carla's dress… and you know also the actual trying on that may possibly have happened, while she was out.**

"They were oh, so much alike." **It was pure silk… like a big pair of boxes for my whole body… and the dark red really did bring out the natural hue of my skin… and the whole skirt thing is actually pretty cool no intimidating metal zipper… Of course I couldn't ever actually wear anything like that out…**

Ben was about to comment on just how like Jordan his mother looked after her last round of plastic surgery but was distract by JD's rather vacant look. He didn't know a lot about the kid Perry constantly had in toe but didn't think that expression was particularly healthy for anyone.

"Is he okay?" Ben frowned and Perry looked over at the familiar blank expression.

**The silks really clingy and if it were cold I'd be embarrassed by people seeing the outline of my nipples… and I'd have to buy shoes for it… though I bet my toes would look great in open heels…**

"Yeah he does that on almost an hourly basis." Perry said feeling Jordan's son stir against his chest.

"Just completely tunes out?"

"Yep."

"You ever throw things at him- see how long it takes him to notice?"

"Once or twice." **Nothing too large just maybe a half inch heel or-**

"Hey Janice-" The vacant expression lasted another half second before Ben hurled one of the sofa cushions at him. It bounced off of JD's chest harmlessly and he blinked at them, wearing that dopey half there expression, that Perry had seen as often as his blank stare.

"It was soft and- silky and Carla's the one who brought it… It's wasn't my fault." He said, suddenly on the defensive.

"Oh god Gracie-Lou Free Bush, please don't e-ever explain what that was about."

-.-.-

Ben was still giving him a funny look when Perry went to put his son down. He wasn't even being covert about it either- which was possibly the most annoying part, JD glancing over at him a few times- hoping he'd look away.

"What?" That same questioning frown stayed in place though.

"Do you know?" He asked, trying for casual… JD unfortunately had no idea what the hell he was talking about

"Do I know what?"

"About Jordan's son… that he's…" Dense as he sometimes was even JD could fill in that blank.

"Dr. Cox's." It wasn't a huge shock that Ben knew about it- he was Jordan's brother after all. Ben nodded and seemed to relax marginally.

"Oh good- you can tell Perry then." He'd already been preparing himself to do just that for a while- so again- it didn't come as a shock.

"Why can't you, you're his best friend." This of course didn't mean he wasn't going to bitch about it.

"Because I value my life." JD could appreciate that- since it was the same reason he hadn't spilled the beans yet. Besides on top of everything else Perry probably didn't need to feel betrayed by his best friend as well.

"Well I figure I'm just gonna let it wait a while- until you know- he's calmer… and you know I'm vacation in a different time zone." **I wonder if he'd succeed in choking me through the phone.**

"See that was my plan- more or less- then I found out that my dear sweetheart of a mother is coming here at some point this afternoon to pick up her grandchild… since she doesn't know that said grandchild is actually Perry's child." He explained, timing another snapshot perfectly to capture JD's look of absolute panic.

"That means I have to… while we're still in the same state together."**On the upside my loans won't be a problem anymore.**

Ben shrugged.

"Maybe she won't turn up for a while." The sentence was undercut by someone knocking on the door and he shrugged a second time.

"Of course I have been wrong before." The two of them stood in silence, another knock sounding through the quiet room.

"I'm not answering it." Ben said, face screwed up into a frown.

"Neither am I." **It's not like I've ever met Jordan's mother but- well actually I just really wanna keep that tradition alive is all.**

**On the upside- if neither of us is answering the door- then she's not getting in and I don't have to tell Dr. Cox anything- you know- right now.**

"Jesus I leave you two alone for 10 minutes and you both forget how to answer a door." **Unless that happens.**

"Oh- god… now I understand it entirely… Robin… I just wish you'd called first that way I could have had the old priest and the young priest to-"

"You're still such a charmer Perry- I still cannot understand how my daughter ever let you slip through her fingers." **Oh god- she does look like Jordan- only- more plastic- very old plastic.**

"You can save your jokes though I'm just here for my grand child. Hi Benjamin." **Okay, moment of truth- just be a man and tell him… Ben'll back you up… Or maybe not, since he's currently hiding behind the lounge chair. Yep, this precise moment- watching Ben's arm awkwardly poke up from behind the upholstery in greeting, is when I realise exactly how much trouble I am in.**

**It's okay though because Dr. Cox is not just going to let her walk out with Jordan's son even if he doesn't know it's his.**

"Yeah- sure, why not." **Okay- the door, Ben, Dr. Cox handing over his son… I get the way this is working now… Okay, there is no way Lara Bingle is going to show up and let me take her on a date.**

**Okay- so I don't actually expect her to show up- I do wait by the door for a few minutes- but I don't actually… damn Australian's.**

**Another unfortunate side effect of my waiting for my dream girl is that**** Dr. Cox and Jordan's mother have moved into the nursery- presumably to pack up Dr. Cox's son.**

**I have to tell him**

**I want my navy scrubs.**

-.-.-

**Now I want to get one thing perfectly straight upfront, I am not cuddly and I very much doubt I would care much even if Jordan's child was my own spawn. However turning over any child to my ex-mother in law seems tantamount to handing a small animal over to Ozzy Osborne. Especially since babies are pretty much just small animals and you know my mother-in-law has probably bitten the head off of a chicken in the past… or you know some other creature.**

"Actually you know now that I've considered it, I don't know that I'm comfortable leaving another child in your care- I mean I've met Jordan and Ben and admittedly Ben is pretty sane but I mean what if that was just some kind of fluke. Did the maid look after him a lot- is that why he has a soul?"**Alright maybe I just haven't antagonised anyone in a while.**

-.-.-

"Dr. Cox- you can't let her take Jordan's baby because he's actually your baby… and hers too still but mostly just yours… now…" Even though he's botched the sentence a little JD classes it as an accomplishment. He's actually managed to say it- it's all out there, no going back- then he notices that Perry's currently in the middle of dumping stuff out of his son's bag rather than packing it. Actually he's not exactly doing that anymore, has paused with a shirt in his hand and is glaring at JD.

"Glenda what the hell did you just say to me?"

**Oh damn it.**

-.-.-

"She was going to tell you… I think she was just- scared." Funny how he hadn't considered that at the time, hadn't thought that Jordan could ever be afraid of anything.

"Arghuh."

Then again he'd also assumed that there couldn't be anything scarier than Dr. Cox trying to kill him. Having the other sit on his couch and stare at nothing is a hell of lot more disturbing though and since Perry had half-chased him around his sons crib several times, JD actually has something to compare to. The blank stare is so much more disconcerting than the chasing; it had been a half-arsed attempt though.

"Are you okay?" He questions finally, sitting down gingerly beside the other, wondering if it's entirely smart to be within arms length. Dr. Cox doesn't seem overly interested in him though. He just keeps on staring at some unknown point on the floor.

God he wants Carla right now- or Turk, even Elliot. He hasn't the slightest clue how to handle this, has been treading water since knocking on Dr. Cox's door, has been focused on getting from second to the next with the man, instead of facing the ugly fact, that eventually he was going to start sinking, is starting to go under as he sits there.

"You really did love her didn't you?" It's something he and Turk have discussed quite a bit.

"I really did… Love the bitch." Rather predictably Perry's interest turns to something a hundred proof, he stares at the floor resentfully a second longer before throwing himself over the arm of the chair, heading straight for the few bottles left in his house.

"Whoa, whoa…" JD isn't sure what's he's more impressed by- his own rather graceful vault over the back of Dr. Cox's lounge and the subsequent nicking of Dr. Cox's half full cup or that the man still has alcohol left after his over-long binge.

"Jenna you better give me that cup back- or I'll hang you out the window by your ankles- understand." JD's pretty sure what he's holding now is it though; otherwise Dr. Cox would just pour himself another glass- rather than fight with him.

"Remember what you said to me about not ending up in the bottom of a bottle." JD tried to reason, trying to navigate Perry's living room whilst backing up rather rapidly.

It didn't work out so well, at least not after Perry made a grab for him, his knee hit the corner of the coffee table and they both went down, hitting the floor hard but missing the table completely, which JD was grateful for.

Alcohol splashed out over his fingers, trickling down to pool in his palm, more still hitting the carpet, beading before slowly soaking in, a small amount still coating the bottom of the glass.

"It's gone- it's gone." JD said quickly less than a second after tossing what's left in the glass out onto the carpet; Dr. Cox still struggling with him over it.

JD cringed slightly, letting the emptied glass be taken from him, positive that now; he was going to be strangled.

There's an irate sigh as Perry sets the glass on the table, sitting up to rest his weight on his knees which are set one each side of JD's hips.

"You suck Virginia." Well at least it's not a punch in the face.

"I wanted to tell you." There's another irate sigh and Perry slumps a little, JD can feel the weight resting across his hips now, rather than just the knees against his sides.

"I know you did."

"I think she loved you too… that's why she… lied."

"I know she did."

"You know you have to name him now right." Maybe it's an inappropriate time to bring it up- but it's really starting to get on his nerves having to call the poor kid 'baby' or 'Jordan's son'. Also Dr. Cox isn't saying much and the silence coupled with having a guy in his lap that isn't Turk is starting to make him uncomfortable.

-.-.-

"Jack Daniel Cox." JD stood outside in the bright morning sunlight and contemplated the name Perry had just chosen for his son, before realising the other had kept on walking after handing him copies of now filed forms.

"Jack Daniel…" There is something odd about the name and JD frowns trying to work it out, rushing to fall into step by Perry again.

"Jack Daniel-s… Jack Daniel's..." He paused again, only to watch Perry's back, the other still not breaking stride.

"You named your son after whiskey?" He's really the idiotic one for being surprised, he realises, catching up to Dr. Cox again, almost tripping when Perry stops suddenly, turning on his heal to stare at him for several seconds. Or maybe glare, it was hard to tell with the shades on.

"You're an idiot JD."


	10. JD&Coke

**A/N: Once again Role-Players suck. Honestly guys- tell me truly, do I come off as rude and snobbish? Anyhow sorry about the break- my writing depressed me for a while and anything I write at those time typically sucks. I'll try'en keep on track. Give me a kick if i wonder again yeah?  
**

**Chapter Ten**

_**JD&Coke**_

_We often choose a friend as we do a mistress - for no particular excellence in themselves, but merely from some circumstance that flatters our self-love._

_William Hazlitt

* * *

  
_

"He's a horrible excuse for a human being and I never do anything to him- he just doesn't like me."

"Why?" Carla gave a quiet grunt prying another staple from JD's shirt and subsequently the wall.

"Because he's a horrible excuse for a human being." JD found it pretty self-explanatory, would've shrugged if his shoulders were at all free for him to do so. Carla wiggled the butterknife under another staple before levering it free.

"Newbie what have I told you about attention seeking behaviour." JD had decided a while ago that seeing Dr. Cox roll up with a bright-blue starred stroller was just never going to loose its amusement value- though the experience was somewhat dampened by his current position.

"I didn't do this to myself."

"Sure you didn't Fat Little Dixie Chick." The stroller was left to sit idle by the wall and another knife joined the one already pulling staples from his shirt.

"I'm not fat… and what're you doing here anyway- it's your day off." Another staple came free and JD could actually move his right arm- which was a marked improvement on ten seconds ago. **Damn itchy nose.**

"I thought that we just don't get to spend enough time together anymore… Cup-Cake… and so I came in to spend my oh so precious free time- with you. What do ya say we find an empty room and snuggle." Perry said, pulling the last staple from his left sleeve.

"Really?" The minute it left his mouth, JD felt stupid, though in his defence, the way Dr. Cox had been acting lately, it wasn't entirely outside the realm of possibility.

"No- Cindy-Lou, I'm seeing another Paediatrician, I came to ask if you wanted to come. I'm not quite sure why- but I'd wager it has something to do with the alcohol and brain-damage I've no doubt so recently suffered." He ripped the last staple out.

"Oh yeah sure- are you planning on calling this one stupid too?" JD snorted, straightening his shirt.

"This coming from the man who walked out on the last guy before I even got there?"

-.-.-

**JD had Jack in his lap, stroller resting, empty by his left knee.**

**"Jack Daniel… well I guess that figure's for Perry now doesn't it." Dr. Grace was the kind of guy Carla and Elliot would've reverted to a dopey teenaged girl phase for.**

**JD was incredibly unimpressed. Mostly because the guy didn't have much right to provide question or comment on what Perry decided to call his son.**

**"What's wrong with Jack Daniel?" It wasn't so much a question as a snappish queue to steer the conversation elsewhere.**

**"Look I enjoy a JD-N-Coke on a hot afternoon as much as the next guy- but to call a child…"**

**"A what?" It brought Grace up short and he frowned for a moment before gathering his bearings.**

**"A JD and Coke… Jack Daniels and Coke… how can you hang out with Perry and not know that that's a drink." JD felt his cheeks colour, one of those 16-year-old girl grins coming on. The conversation he'd had with Carla a few days before coming to mind.**

**_"Jack Daniel… how long did you happy dance over that one?"_**

**_"Over what?"_**

**_"Jack Daniel… Jack… Daniel… Oh come on JD you can't possibly be that stupid…"_**

**He'd continued to stare at her blankly, really not getting it at the time and eventually Carla had walked away in disgust, never to elaborate on it.**

**_Jack Daniels._**

**_JD._**

**"It's not a stupid name… you're stupid..." Very teenage girl. Since it wasn't over how dreamy Dr. Stupid looked, JD still felt he had a little dignity left, even if it was somewhat tattered.**

-.-.-

"Yeah- but- he… was just… stupid." JD said, coming back to himself.

"How is little Jack Daniel." JD practically cooed, leaning into the stroller.

"Oh Virginia would you stop already- it was a momentary lapse in sanity, you're really reading too much into it." Perry tugged the stroller away from the wall and JD straightened up quickly to avoid getting hit.

"If you say so." JD said dismissively, the two trailing slowly down the hall.

"Don't start with me newbie."

"Come here little JD." JD risked ducking into the stroller again, undoing the buckles around Jack.

"Newbie I will choke you." Perry threatened, pausing as JD lifted his son from his seat. Since JD paid little to no attention though he really could've saved his breath.

"Who's getting to be such a big boy?" JD cooed again and it was met with a disgruntled sigh from Perry.

"Cut the umbilical cord Martha… I beg you."

-.-.-

"See developmentally I think 2 months is a little young to be teaching him how to swear in Russian." Dr Dave Norris explained and much to Perry's disgust JD looked fascinated.

"Well no actually laying the ground work for foreign cursing now is probably a good idea- just don't expect much in the way of results for at least 4 to 6 more months." The man had something of a decent sense of humour, but his interest in JD was somewhat disturbing, bordering on really quite frustrating.

"I think Jack's very advanced though; I mean he figured out how to suck his thumb all by himself." Perry also found it almost sickening how proud JD was of son.

"Thumb-sucking is a crucial milestone." Norris said, leaning against his desk, focused very intently on JD. Perry fought the urge to grind his teeth.

-.-.-

"He was great- don't you think." JD was practically bouncing and Perry was fighting the urge to hurl.

"Norris is a moron." He snapped irritably, JD shifting his armful of books before glaring at him.

"Weren't you in love with the guy like an hour ago?" Perry made a disgusted noise- deciding not to dignify the slight with an actual answer.

"Wait I definitely remember it… I think I can get it- 'Now listen Eleanor Dr. Norris is the best paediatrician on staff… neigh in the city and if you don't stop dragging those ridiculously large heels you insist on wearing cause they just have all the doctors drooling in 3.5 seconds and make me miss this appointment that took for-ever to get-"

"Enough Newbie or I will choke you." Perry frowned.

"Yeah I think that might've been the end of it." JD grinned.

"Seriously though- he seems to really care about his patients and he's…" He paused, wondering how his next comment would be taken.

"Frankly he's you, what's your problem?"

"Oh please he was more focused on your arse than my son." JD made one of those doubtful noises and not for the first time Perry wondered how in the grand scheme of things anyone that stupid could actually get through med school.

"My ass?" JD snorted- actually snorted at him.

"Yes you moron- in fact if Jack and I hadn't been there I'd bet my next pay that he would've been trying to get you to bend over his desk so he could examine your prostate."

"He has a daughter." Halle's laughing at him now- which is more than a little annoying all by itself.

"So do I." Perry snaps- frustrated with the statement as well- honestly how gullible is newbie.

"You…" Only when newbie stops- to grin at him with that oh so stupid questioning expression does he realise what he's said… the context of it.

"…have a son." The flouncing great big girl suddenly says out of the blue- starts walking again.

"Honestly if you can't remember that then there's no hope for you as a father." JD says as they fall back into step together.

"Coming from Jack's over-bearing surrogate mommy I'll take that as a compliment." Because he sure as hell is not going to steer the conversation back towards the awkwardness. Frankly he's not even sure if JD understood the implications of his statement in the first place.


End file.
